


I Want to Be Brave

by makeawi3h



Series: I Want to Be Brave [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Character Death, F/M, I'm Sorry, No HEA, Not A Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Sad, Sad Ending, i hate jj abrams, very very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeawi3h/pseuds/makeawi3h
Summary: Will you sing for me?he asks.She stops brushing his hair and wipes his tears off his face before answering:Of course, Ben.orRey realizes there's nothing she can do to save Ben, so she tries to ease his passing.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reylo
Series: I Want to Be Brave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633765
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	I Want to Be Brave

**Author's Note:**

> So after The Rise of Skywalker I was very disappointed with Ben's death scene: not only was it completely unnecessary and undeserving, but his passing was so quick and they didn't even share a word??? nah, not on my watch.  
> For that reason I wanted to give my space babies a little more time and give Ben a proper goodbye.  
>   
> P.S. english is not my first language so go easy on me

  
  
  
Ben.  
He is the first thing that she sees when she opens her eyes.  
She immediatly knows what he did.  
_He saved her_  
She touches his face, for surely this must be a dream, her mind must be playing tricks on her.  
But it's not, he's here and he's _smiling_ at her.  
His smile... not even all the stars in the galaxy could compare to such sight and Rey wants nothing more than to wake up to this.  
She beams at him, because she realizes that the war _is_ over, so she _knows_ that they can actually start over, begin a new life together.  
  
They kiss, and the kiss is, oh, so soft, Rey pours all of her joy in it: the joy of being alive, the joy to have found her soulmate, the joy of knowing that _nothing_ will keep them apart now.  
Rey is so happy that she almost doesn't realize it.  
Almost.  
  
When the kiss breaks, she feels it.  
The Force all around her pulses with something that feels wrong, very wrong.  
She feels like a flower that's slowly but surely decaying.  
She shouldn't feel like this, why is she feeling like this?  
She, then, looks at his face and she understeands.  
This... _thing_ that she's feeling.. it's not coming from her, it's coming from him.  
_He's dying._  
  
"Ben?"  
He starts to say something, but then he falls back. Rey quickly reaches for him and takes him in her arms before he can even touch the ground.  
She gently places his head on her lap, her left hand takes his and starts rubbing his knuckles, while her other hand strokes his cheek.  
"Rey, I'm so sorry." he says breathlessly.  
She almost whimpers, is he already struggling to breathe?  
"Shh Ben, it's okay, we are fine."  
She wants to mean that, Rey desperatly wants her words to be true, but they both know they're not.  
Still, she doesn't want to cry, doesn't want for him to see that she has already given up saving him.  
They are alone in this cave, nobody knows where they are, the Resistance will never find them.  
They are alone, they are alone and she _can't_ save him.  
  
"I don't want to leave you." his voice breaks while saying so, he has tears in his eyes.  
Rey tries so hard not to let her own fall.  
"You are not leaving me, silly." she manages to smile, but her tears stream down nonetheless.  
  
"We are going to get out of here, we are getting on the Falcon and we're going to fly far far away to one of those green planets."  
She breathes and tries to keep her voice steady: "We will settle down and we will build a house of our own. Nobody will come after us. Nobody will chase us.  
We will be free and we will be **safe**."  
"But I am already safe, Rey."  
  
Rey just wants to break down, she wants to cry, she wants to scream, she wants to beg whoever is out there to save him.  
She would trade all of her life just to have a few more moments with him.  
They have just found each others, why does he have to leave so soon?  
  
"I know you are, you are with me, you are not alone." she says back what he told her just a few months ago; she wants to tell him how much those words meant to her, oh, she wants to tell him so very much, but they're running out of time.  
  
She sees him twich his lips, another little smile for her.  
"Rey, I feel so tired right now."  
And there's such a hopelessness in his voice.  
He doesn't want to go, but deep down, he knows that he has to.  
Rey gently moves one of his dark locks out of his beautiful face and starts stroking his hair in a soothing motion.  
Who knows when was the last time someone touched him like this, with nothing but love?  
  
It takes all the strength within her to say these next words:  
"Then sleep, Ben. You can go. You can rest now."  
A sob escapes her. She tries to compose herself, to be brave for him. But she fails.  
"I will be okay."  
He looks at her with watery eyes, Rey can see the sorrow in them, like he's silently asking Rey to forgive him, because he won't be there for her, even though he desperatley wants to.  
"Will you sing for me?" he asks.  
  
She stops brushing his hair and wipes his tears off his face before answering:  
"Of course, Ben."  
Ben. She wants to keep saying his name forever. His precious name, the name of a broken boy who still found his way to the light, to her.  
The love of her life.  
  
She then starts to sing a lullaby, one she's sure Ben will fall asleep on.  
Part of her doesn't want to sing it. She doesn't want Ben to sleep, doesn't want Ben to go.  
But she has no choice.  
  
"Close you eyes, Ben."  
Rey can feel how he's almost out of strenght.  
It will be any moment now.  
  
She starts stroking his cheek, while her other hand keeps rubbing his knuckles.  
"_**Deep in the meadow, under the willow.  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow.**_  
  
Can you see it, Ben? Can you see the willow?"  
"Yes." he smiles "I can."  
  
She keeps going:  
"_**Here it's safe, here it's warm.  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm.**_"  
"I can see the daisies." he says out of breath.  
He's getting colder and colder.  
  
"That's good, Ben," she whispers, her cheeks damp with all her tears.  
"_**Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true.  
Here is the place where I love you.**_"  
The lullaby ends and she softly kisses him on the lips.  
He smiles again.  
Rey wishes they had more time, wishes to see his beautiful smile once more.  
He then says it.  
  
"**I love you, Rey.**"  
  
His words are so soft, she almost didn't hear them.  
He opens his eyes once again, will this be the last time they look into each other's eyes?  
She smiles back at him.  
She tries to say that she love him back, she really does, but as soon as she opens her mouth, his body starts to disappear.  
  
He was there, in her arms, just a moment ago.  
_And now he's gone._  



End file.
